Posted on February 16,2016 in Divorce

With the wide variety of communication methods available today, many divorced people report receiving hostile emails, text messages, or letters from their ex-spouse. Divorce is not an easy process, and times of conflict tend to make people emotional. Your spouse may be angry, sad, or still processing your divorce in some way. Receiving an angry letter or email from your spouse can be upsetting, and you may be wondering how to proceed. Should you respond? What should your response include? Should you be worried? This is a person you once loved, and may even share children with, so how you handle yourself is important. In addition to potentially harming your relationship, if any of your divorce proceedings are not settled, your response could impact the outcome of your case as well.

Should I Respond?

In reality, most hostile texts, emails, or letters do not require any response. Angry letters from an ex do not typically hold legal significance, so if you can let it go, do so. Responding will only escalate the issue, and will likely encourage your ex to respond again. If your ex is simply venting, let them. Their communication only holds power over you if you allow it.

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 Posted on February 11,2016 in Child Custody

During a divorce case, if a couple cannot agree on a parenting plan, a judge will decide on parenting issues. In this scenario, it is common for a judge to seek the help of a custody evaluator. While the laws in Illinois have been recently been amended to utilize the new phrase "allocation of parental responsibilities," the more casual term "custody" is still commonly used when referring to evaluations and evaluators.

The role of a custody evaluator is to gather information on a family and their specific case, and then report back to the court with a recommendation of how parenting time and responsibilities should be allotted. This evaluation can be one of the most important elements that divorcing parents face, and while judges are not required to act on the recommendation of evaluators, courts frequently do use the information provided by the evaluator when making their final decisions. You, your soon-to-be ex-spouse, and your children may meet with an evaluator in his or her office, or a home visit may be scheduled. Though these meetings can be stressful, there are a few tips parents can follow to ensure they are prepared for the evaluation.

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 Posted on February 09,2016 in Divorce

For many couples, February is a month of love. Valentine's day is the perfect time to show your love and support for your spouse. Trends show, however, that for many other couples, the beginning of the year may bring with it the end of their marriage. Many unhappy couples choose to file for divorce at the beginning of the year, likely hoping for a fresh start. So while happier couples are making plans for Valentines day, those about to start a divorce are likely planning financially for the costs ahead. While predetermining a cost for your divorce is difficult, due to the fact that each divorce case is different, in the United States, the average cost of a divorce is typically $15,000 to $20,000. Of course, the cost of your divorce will depend on many different factors. One important factor, which may be surprising, is what state in which you live. A recent survey examined the costs of divorce in each of the United States. Take a look at a few states with the most and least expensive divorces.

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 Posted on February 04,2016 in Domestic Violence

We all know that domestic violence is a dangerous problem in America. Recent reports have shown that about 25 percent of heterosexual women experience some form of domestic violence in their lifetime. This alarmingly high rate includes any sexual, physical, or psychological harm inflicted on a victim by a current or past partner. Researchers have studied domestic violence since the 1970’s, but have primarily focused on opposite-sex relationships where women are abused by a male partner. Thanks to last summer’s Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage, LGBTQ individuals across the country are now legally able to marry in every state. Do people in same-sex relationships and marriage experience domestic violence at a similar rate to heterosexual couples? Researchers from Chicago’s Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine say yes, same sex couples do experience domestic violence, and in fact, at possibly higher rates than straight couples.

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 Posted on February 02,2016 in Mediation and Collaborative Law

As is the case with any major life change, going through a divorce can be an extremely emotional experience. For some people, the thought of adding the conflict of a typical divorce proceeding into the mix is too much. Is there an option for those who are looking for a more peaceful method of divorce? Fortunately, a recent development in family law, known as collaborative divorce, has proven successful for many couples hoping to split up amicably. If you are hoping to avoid a costly, emotionally draining, and potentially conflicted divorce proceeding, collaborative divorce may be the right choice for you. Here is what you need to know.

What Is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative divorce is often likened to another more peaceful divorce alternative; mediation. While mediation and collaborative divorce do share similarities, one major difference between the two is that mediation involves impartial mediators, while collaborative divorce involves lawyers to represent both spouses. Rather than face off in a courtroom, collaborative divorce attorneys agree to focus on cooperation between both parties and work towards drafting a divorce agreement both parties can agree to. Instead of litigation and adversarial strategies, collaborative divorce attorneys use techniques to maintain positive negotiations between both parties. All parties involved commit to finding an amicable outcome and agree that no litigation will take place during the collaborative negotiations. Parties agree to predetermined terms, such as:

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 Posted on January 28,2016 in Divorce

Divorce is often a painful experience for everyone involved. Even when a divorce happens for all the right reasons, the process is still stressful and emotional. Spouses going through a divorce face a long emotional process likely including a mix of pain, sadness, anger, nervousness, frustration, and regret. If children are involved, they will be dealing with their own mix of emotions, and may even take the divorce harder than the parents. When divorce happens, we often tend to sympathize with the couple themselves, and any children involved. But what about another party that likely faces the challenge of coping with divorce: the parents of the divorcing couple? Watching a child get divorced can be one of the most painful and difficult experiences a parent can go through.

You may fear for their future well-being, question your own parenting, and, if grandchildren are involved, you may worry about them and your ability to see them. Parents should do their best to be strong and supportive for their child, which can be difficult when they themselves are likely grieving the end of the marriage as well. If your child is about to divorce or already in the middle of the divorce process, experts recommend following a few tips to ensure that you are as supportive and helpful as possible to your child.

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 Posted on January 26,2016 in Divorce

Think divorce is a complicated process? Try applying for financial aid to cover the costs of college tuition after a divorce. For parents all across the United States, the rising costs of college tuition are a burden for their family, and many parents rely on the help of financial aid to pay for their child’s college education. The Free Application for Federal Student Aid, known as FAFSA, is complex enough for married couples with children, and can be even more perplexing for co-parents who have been divorced. In some situations, divorce can mean a child may benefit from special rules. In other, more unfortunate cases, divorce may lead to a child receiving a smaller than expected sum of financial aid. Considering the amount of funding your student receives for college depends on FAFSA, completing the application correctly is vital. Here are a few things divorced parents need to be aware of while seeking financial aid for their future college student.

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 Posted on January 21,2016 in Mediation and Collaborative Law

Divorce is a stressful process for everyone involved, but experts recommend divorcing parents do their best to stay focused on the number one priority in their lives; their children. Spouses tend to hire professionals to represent and assist them, be it attorneys, mediators, or other divorce experts, but in many cases, children going through divorce have no voice. Divorcing parents must remember that divorce affects everyone involved. For many children, divorce can mean new living arrangements, time apart from a parent, and a new lifestyle, all changes that can be difficult to process, especially as a child. For parents hoping to protect and prioritize their children during divorce, experts recommend a non-adversarial divorce process known as child-focused mediation.

What Is Child-Focused Mediation?

Child-focused mediation is a type of mediation that originated in New Zealand and Australia, both places where collaborative divorce methods are used frequently by the court systems. The goal of child focused mediation is not to bring a child into the middle of the chaos of a divorce, but rather to ensure that their voice is heard during the process, and that they are advocated for. Mediators may use different methods, but the end goal and result is always the same; to provide a voice for children caught in the middle of divorce and to ensure that divorcing parents are aware that every decision they make can impact their children. Mediators agree that divorce is not an ‘adult-only’ problem, and child focused mediators are trained in a variety of techniques to help divorcing families shift the focus to their children. To do this, experts say parents need to avoid the conflict-focused state of mind that is typical during the divorce process, and instead adopt a child-focused state of mind.

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 Posted on January 19,2016 in Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is, unfortunately, a major problem in America. Each year, attorneys and court officials deal with millions of domestic violence-related cases, and experts say many more instances of domestic violence go unreported. While we tend to focus on the victim of the violence and the perpetrator, there is a commonly a third party affected by domestic violence and abuse: children. Despite the commonly-held belief that children are not aware of every situation taking place between their parents or guardians, studies show that even young children are aware of and affected by domestic violence taking place in their home. For children, the effects of being around domestic violence are very serious and can last a lifetime.

“It does have effects,” says the chief executive officer of America’s National Domestic Violence Hotline. “No matter how much you believe it is hidden from them or out of sight, children know what is happening and they worry and they stress.” In fact, recent research shows that 90 percent of children who live in homes where domestic violence occurs are aware that the violence is taking place. Experts and advocates are alarmed by this number, and say that means children in these unfortunate situations are constantly dealing with stress and anxiety, among other issues. Therapists say that stress and anxiety in children can lead to anger, sadness, rage, confusion, and even guilt. “Some kids blame themselves” says one social worker experienced in domestic violence cases. Experts indicate that parents often believe believe that despite the violence occurring in their home, their children are better off being raised by two parents versus being removed from the violent situation. Advocates and experts believe that, in almost every case, removing a child from the violence is the right choice. While breaking apart a family may be tough, the effects of domestic violence on children far outweigh the separation process.

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 Posted on January 14,2016 in Divorce

For most people, divorce brings about many lifestyle changes. Moving, sharing parenting time, and establishing financial independence are all part of the divorce process, and while the transition from married to single life can be difficult, every change is part of a larger process that will hopefully lead you to more personal freedom and happiness. One change that can be particularly challenging is searching for employment post-divorce. If you held a career during your marriage, financial independence will come much easier to you. Maybe, however, you are no longer happy with your current job, and as you transition out of a bad marriage you would like to pursue other career options. Or, if you are like millions of divorced Americans, you were the stay at home parent or did not work during your marriage, and now face the challenge of supporting yourself. Whatever your situation may be, searching for a job after divorce can be difficult. If you have been out of the workforce for a while, you may no longer know what employers are looking for and expecting from potential candidates. Maybe you have not interviewed for a position in 20 years. While landing a good job can seem like a daunting task, following these post divorce job hunting tips will set you well on your way to a new career.

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