Recent Blog Posts
Could Giving Up Anonymity in Alcoholism Improve Marital Outcomes?
According to statistics from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, at least 24.6 percent of people aged 18 and older reported an alcohol use disorder in 2013. It is the third leading preventable cause of death in the United States, and it is one of the least discussed, but among the most problematic issues in marriages today. Some are trying to change the secrecy and stigma surrounding this monumental problem in hopes of changing the lives and futures of others.
Alcoholics No Longer Anonymous?
Alcoholism was first labeled as a disease by the American Medical Association in 1956. Unfortunately, very little has changed in the way society views alcoholism. Most still consider it a personal weakness or unwillingness to “just quit.” The truth is that alcoholism, like other substance use disorders, is a medical condition that can be overcome with proper treatment and determination on the part of the sufferer.
How to Prepare for Mediation in an Illinois Divorce
Divorce cases can be the most difficult cases to settle. Everything is personal. Both sides often feel hurt, and both sides usually believe they are acting fairly and in the best interest of the children and their own future. But, when the parties can reach a settlement instead of going to a trial, both sides are usually happier with the outcome. Mediation is sometimes the only way to bring two soon to be ex-spouses together to work out an agreement.
How Mediation Works
Mediation in most instances is voluntary. A mediator is a neutral third party who helps the two sides find common ground and craft an agreement. Mediators are not free. Usually, each side pays half of the mediator’s fee.
Every mediator works differently. Often the mediator has each side with their lawyers in separate rooms. Then the mediator goes between the rooms to settle the case. The most effective mediators are ones that have a deep understanding of family law and can help each side understand the possible consequences of not reaching a deal.
Tips for Handling Conflict Between You and Your Ex
When it comes to co-parenting, communication is the key to everything. Maintaining an amicable relationship with your ex can be extremely trying at times, but communicating about all things child-related is necessary for the well being of your children. For you, however, speaking with your ex, or even texting them, can be challenging if the two of you are fighting. Handling a conflict between you and your ex is difficult. You may still be facing various leftover emotions from your divorce: pain, anger, hurt, frustration, and sadness. While letting go of those emotions is tough, resolving and moving past conflicts with your ex is the easiest way to make your life feel normal again.
Be Self Aware
No matter what face you put on when you see your ex, if you are still holding on to frustrations and anger from your divorce, those feelings will come through in your conversations. The first step in resolving conflict with your ex is processing your own emotions. How can you expect your ex to be friendly if you are holding on to anger? Work on forgiving, or at the very least, acknowledge that letting go of your negativity will make things easier for you.
How to Handle Holidays as a Divorced Parent
Fall’s official arrival means the holidays are just around the corner. Three major approaching holidays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, are all great times to get together as a family. All three are days to relax, have fun, and enjoy great food and company. Relaxing can be hard, however, if you have to handle the holidays as a co-parent. For divorced families, the holiday season can be stressful and emotionally painful. For the first time this year, many recently divorced parents will have a court-ordered parenting plan that more or less dictates how they get to spend each holiday with their children. Many other families have had to deal with this challenge for years. Transitioning from spending holidays as a family to a court mandated schedule is a difficult change to overcome, but there are ways to lessen the stress.
Review Your Parenting Plan
Preparing for a Child Custody Battle
Going through a divorce is stressful, expensive, and emotionally draining. Add children into the mix, and the situation becomes even more difficult. Even the most amicable of divorces involving children have their tense moments, as parents do their best to establish a plan for raising their children post divorce. Many parents, however, face less than amicable spouses that intend to fight against them for the custody of their children. Fighting for child custody is one of the most difficult, emotional processes a parent can go through. A child custody battle should not be taken lightly, and involves serious preparation by any party that intends on being involved in the child’s life. If you foresee a difficult court battle against your spouse, these steps can help you prepare for your time in court.
Find an Attorney
For those fortunate enough to be divorcing amicably, hiring an attorney may not be necessary. Many parents that divorce peacefully are able to negotiate a custody agreement that works for both of them outside of court. If you anticipate a fight from your ex, however, hiring a qualified attorney is extremely important. Your ex, if they intend to fight against you for child custody, has likely already hired an attorney, so it is important that you find representation for yourself.
Tips for Financial Stability After Divorce
Divorce is about ending an unhappy marriage and starting new. Starting new, however, is easier said than done. For most divorcing couples, the transition from married life to independence is challenging. Changing from a life of support from your spouse, and the financial security of two incomes is tough. The happiest, most successful, divorcees are those that plan ahead for their upcoming life as a single person. Financial preparedness can help make your transition much less stressful. Provide yourself with financial peace of mind by following these key tips.
1. Assess Your Current Financial Situation
One of the most common misconceptions about divorce is that lifestyles will remain the same. You and your spouse's incomes may have supported a very comfortable life together, but that same amount of money is not going to stretch as far for two separate households. To help you better prepare for financial independence, assess the income and expenses of your current shared household. Review your bank and credit card statements. Consider all income sources that you and your spouse share. Once you have a handle on your combined income and expenses, you will be able to map out your upcoming expenses as a single person and if you will be able to afford them or not.
Divorce and a Shared Business
It can be hard enough to deal with divorce when emotions are high, changes happen quickly, and you feel overwhelmed or stressed. If you and your spouse share a company, however, things become even trickier.
Many married couples start businesses together. Having a co-worker or partner that you can trust and rely on can be amazing, and many couples have seen extreme success with their shared business ventures. Unfortunately, nearly half of all first marriages end in divorce in the U.S., with an even higher chance of divorce for second marriages. It is no surprise that many couples each year face the challenge of divorcing and dealing with a shared business. There is no correct answer to handling your shared business. You may choose to split your business, sell it, or be able to continue to work together amicably enough. No matter the outcome, you will need some help through the separation process.
Are You Ready for Post-Divorce Dating?
Going through a divorce can be an emotional, life changing process. Splitting from the person you believed you would be happily for ever after with is never easy. Whether you were married for two years, 10 years, or 20 years, separating from the person you thought to be “the one” is devastating. It can take serious time to heal the scars and emotional damage you may have experienced during your divorce. For most people, however, the damage does fade away, and the time comes to explore dating new people. How do you know when you are ready to date again? A quick search online can bring up millions of self-help articles, post-divorce dating tips, and long lists of right and wrong strategies. While these articles may help prepare you for the world of dating, a world that may have vastly changed since the last time you experienced it, there is really only one true way to prepare yourself for post divorce dating. Take time to get to know yourself first.
Talking to Your Partner about a Prenuptial Agreement
No newly-engaged couple wants to envision their separation. Nothing can spoil the romance and magic of finding a lifelong partner and getting engaged like the thought of divorce. While nobody enters a marriage expecting to get divorced, the reality is that divorce rates in the US are rising steadily. Modern society has less of a stigma about divorce than in the past, so couples that find themselves unhappy are more frequently deciding to go their separate ways. While no marriage should be entered into lightly, everyone certainly deserves the chance to be happy in their life, and if a divorce is the answer down the road, so be it. With divorce, however, comes the tricky details of splitting your finances, which can be be especially tough for couples entering marriage with significant assets already accrued. The difficult process of splitting assets has led to many couples choosing to sign prenuptial agreements. While discussing a prenuptial agreement prior to your marriage can be very difficult, you and your partner will both be financially better off for it, in the unfortunate case of a future divorce. There are a few tactics you can use to discuss a prenuptial agreement with your partner while maintaining a positive outlook.
For High Net Worth Divorces, Consider a Forensic Accountant
Have you ever heard of a forensic accountant? You may be thinking of something related to a crime scene, and you are not far off. Much like a forensic analyst analyzes a crime scene looking for clues, a forensic accountant analyzes personal assets. The term forensic means their findings are suited for a court of law and, as such, forensic accountants are called upon in cases of fraud, negligence, money laundering, and bankruptcy, to name a few. They are able to navigate the intricate world of high net worth individuals and corporations, exploring things like stateside and offshore bank accounts, different stock market investments, and valuing expensive personal belongings. Forensic accountants have also been called upon to assist with high net worth divorces. They play a key role in ensuring that both spouses get exactly what is owed to each of them, and are able to identify any withheld assets that one partner may be keeping from the other.