Posted on January 05, 2016 in Child Custody

Co-parenting is often much easier said than done. Even the most amicable of divorced couples armed with a well laid out parenting plan face changes, challenges, and frustrations. Children are unpredictable. As they grow up, their needs can change drastically. One year, a child may be interested in after-school piano lessons, only to develop an interest in horseback riding a year later. With the unpredictability of children comes the burden of sharing costs as co-parents. Where once you and your spouse likely shared finances, and worked together towards providing a great future for yourselves and your children, you are both now on your own, and probably in differing financial situations. Splitting the cost of raising children is often challenging, especially if you and your spouse disagree on how you each spend money on your children. How can co-parents ensure they are successfully splitting the costs of raising their children?

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 Posted on December 24, 2015 in Divorce

December is often a quiet month for divorce attorneys. Divorce trends show that divorces dip in December, only to quickly pick back up after New Year’s Day and peak in March. In fact, January sees such a large spike in divorces that divorce attorneys and other experts consider the first Monday of the New Year ‘Divorce Monday.’ Attorneys across the United States report experiencing the spike in divorce filings, and experts in foreign countries like the United Kingdom say they see the same thing. Why do people across the world choose to get divorced at the start of a new year?

Pressure During the Holidays

Marriage and divorce experts say one of the major reasons divorces lull in December and pick back up in January is that families are hesitant to separate during the holidays. This is especially true for married couples with children, who feel they have a responsibility to keep the holidays festive and happy for their children. Many parents justify waiting until after the holidays to give their children one last holiday as a family, though they may be setting themselves up for trouble. There are high expectations around the holidays, and couples who are already heading towards a divorce may find themselves fighting more than ever. The tension around the holidays is likely a reason divorces spike in January. Couples may choose to stick it out for the sake of their children, but are often quick to speak to their attorney about getting their divorce started as soon as the New Year arrives.

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 Posted on December 22, 2015 in Divorce

Bullying can come in a variety of forms. Bullies usually prey on targets they believe to be weaker than they are, using their bullying to get their way or to exert their power over others. Most people encounter bullying early in life, like on the school playground, and deal with bullying in some form throughout their lives. While it is never fun to be the victim of bullying, it can be especially difficult to deal with when going through a divorce. Adding bullying into the emotional turmoil of a major life change, like a divorce, can lead to serious mental and physical consequences for the victim. Here is what you need to know about divorce bullying, and how you can save yourself and your loved ones from being victims of it.

What Is Divorce Bullying?

In a marriage, if one partner consistently bullies the other, it would likely be classified as abuse. There are, however, many cases in which one typically friendly spouse becomes a bully during the divorce process. This is what experts call divorce bullying. As with most cases of bullying, divorce bullies likely become bullies because of their own insecurities or emotional problems. They likely are not able to process the divorce themselves, and rather than dealing with their own issues, decide to express their feelings through bullying their soon to be ex. Bullies use our fears and insecurities against us, making us feel powerless against them. This is especially dangerous in divorce cases. Who else knows as much about our fears, insecurities, and personal issues than our spouses. Of all people, spouses likely have the most ammunition to bully us with.

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 Posted on December 17, 2015 in Mediation and Collaborative Law

Mediation is a great method of conflict resolution. The process of mediation involves two disagreeing parties coming together, meeting with a neutral mediator, and working together to find an agreeable outcome for both parties. Mediation is a helpful strategy for any situation involving conflict, but it is especially useful for couples going through a divorce. The process provides flexibility for both parties and more control over the decision making process, and is typically faster and more cost effective compared to other, more aggressive proceedings. If you and your spouse are headed towards divorce, there are many reasons you should consider mediation.

Cost-Effective

Divorce puts a financial strain on many families. Between costly legal fees and time away from work spent battling in court, the costs of divorce can add up quickly. If you and your spouse can tolerate being in the same room as each other, and are prepared to work together to find an agreeable outcome for both of you, consider mediation. Typically, both you and your spouse will only pay one mediator who will work with you together. You will just pay for the time spent meeting with the mediator, which is often relatively cost-effective when split between two people.

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 Posted on December 15, 2015 in Division of Assets

Divorces can become ugly, and all too often spouses attempt to hide assets from each other. People going through a divorce should be cautious, and ensure they have a clear picture of their shared finances, so they know what they are entitled to from their divorce settlement. Some divorcing individuals will go to great lengths to hide money or other assets from their spouse. They open new bank accounts, hide money with friends, go on spending sprees, or avoid disclosing retirement and other investment accounts, to name just a few possibilities. Now, experts are worried about another potential way spouses could hide money from each other. Bitcoin, a new high-tech form of digital currency, is difficult to track and regulate, making it an attractive option for those wishing to hide money from their spouse.

Bitcoin, created in 2008, is a digital currency accessible from anywhere in the world. It is not restricted by any government, does not rely on any bank, and gives it’s users the option to remain anonymous. Since it’s creation, the currency has grown tremendously. One 2013 report showed the total number of Bitcoins around the world to be valued at over 10 billion US dollars. In 2015, the currency is still growing, and more vendors around the world are starting to accept it. Governments across the globe are struggling with regulating Bitcoin. Since it allows users to store money and purchase goods anonymously from anywhere in the world, states and countries are unable to tax or control the currency.

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 Posted on December 10, 2015 in Divorce

People get divorced for a variety of reasons. Often, an extramarital affair or breach of trust is at the center of a divorce, but there are many other ways couples can strain their relationship. While cheating and lying are two surefire ways to hurt your marriage, and potentially lead you to divorce, there are many other ways you may be doing damage, sometimes even unknowingly. Below are a few mistakes that are often catalysts for divorce, and tips on how you can avoid making them.

1. You Confide in Other People

Having relationships outside your marriage is necessary and healthy. Trouble starts, however, if you start emotionally confiding in people besides your spouse. Your spouse should be the person you turn to for almost anything, so opening up to outsiders will likely leave your spouse feeling betrayed.

Be sure that despite the friends and other family members you are close with, your spouse feels like you open up to him or her the most. Maintaining friendships is important, but the moment you and a friend share a connection greater than one you share with your spouse, something is wrong. If your spouse notices, they will feel like they are not the most important person in your life anymore. Be especially cautious of confiding in someone you are attracted to. Not only will this make your spouse even more nervous, but if you are attracted to your confidante, you are on a slippery slope that could easily become an affair.

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 Posted on December 08, 2015 in Divorce

As any marriage counselor would tell you, trust between spouses is a major sign of a healthy relationship. Successful marriages depend on both partners being transparent with each other. Breaches of trust usually happen when one spouse lies to or cheats on the other spouse. Did you know, however, that financial infidelity could spell trouble for your marriage as well? Millions of married Americans report engaging in financial infidelity, a dangerous game to play when a majority of marriage experts say money is the number one issue couples fight about. Are you keeping financial secrets from your spouse? If so, you are not alone, according to a recent survey.

Understanding Financial Infidelity

Financial infidelity is a serious problem for married couples, and while keeping secrets about money may not seem as devastating as an actual affair with an outside person, lying about money can destroy the trust between you and your spouse, and can eventually lead to divorce. Financial infidelity can come in a variety of forms, not all of them nefarious. Things like hidden bank accounts, serious secret debts, and gambling addictions all make the list, but even things like making small purchases without your spouse’s knowledge could be considered financial infidelity. Many married people may be committing financial infidelity without even realizing it.

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 Posted on December 03, 2015 in Child Custody

For divorced parents, communication is crucial. Studies show that post divorced children are most successful when they are able to spend time with both parents, so being able to coordinate and communicate with your ex is absolutely necessary. Speaking with an ex, however, is often much easier said than done. How can you be expected to communicate with a person you would rather not speak to again in your life? While keeping in touch with your ex can be difficult, there are many different tools co-parents can use to keep their communication conflict free. The next time you need to get in touch with your ex, try one of these effective strategies.

Email

Email is a valuable tool for co-parents. Emails are typically quick and to the point, leaving little room for emotion or personal attacks. Emails are very effective for communicating schedules, upcoming activities, and updates on the child’s well being. This is an especially valuable tool for parents who struggle with communicating in person or over the phone, as it allows both parents to quickly get their message across with little time to bring up past issues. Give your ex an email address that you check frequently, and be sure they give you the same. When preparing your emails, type them as if you were writing a colleague or friend. Keep things friendly, simple, and to the point. Keep in mind that your emails could potentially be used in court, if further litigation is needed, so avoid any personal attacks or vulgar language that may reflect poorly on you down the road. As a courtesy, co-parents should respond to any email they receive from each other, even it is simply to acknowledge that a message has been received.

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 Posted on December 01, 2015 in Divorce

Is heavy usage of social media sites like Facebook and Instagram an early indicator that you are heading towards divorce? While you are connecting with friends and family around the world, are you neglecting the most important relationship: your marriage? While a little screen time is certainly nothing to be afraid of, a recently published study found that heavy usage of social media sites does in fact correlate with higher divorce rates. Is your Facebook use putting your marriage at risk?

People have long wondered about social media's impact on in person relationships. Families spend whole dinners on their individual devices. Couples lay in bed next to each other scrolling through Instagram on their Ipads rather than communicating. Everywhere you look someone is texting, tweeting, or scrolling through social media sites. If you feel like social media has disconnected you from your spouse, you are not alone. Because of this, researchers at Boston University set out to find any real correlation between broken marriages and social media use. Studying married couples between 2008 and 2011, researchers found that there is a significant correlation between heavy social media use and relationship troubles and divorce.

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 Posted on November 26, 2015 in Divorce

American seniors are divorcing more than ever before. Today, married people over 50 are two times as likely to divorce as they were in 1990. While the divorce rate for young and middle aged couples has remained relatively steady over the past 30 to 40 years, the number of “grey divorces” is rising quickly. What could be driving a growing number of older married couples towards divorce? A recent study sheds some light on the issue.

Experts have tracked the increasing number of grey divorces over the past few years, and discovered some interesting results. While the popular consensus is that divorce is increasing across the board for every demographic, in reality, the divorce rate in the US has only changed slightly over the past 30 years or so. Basically, most marriages today are as likely to end in divorce as they were in the late 80‘s. This is not the case, however, for couples 50 and older. Statistics show that of people getting divorced, nearly 1 in 4 of them is over 50 years old. Nearly 1 of every 10 divorcees is over 64. Those numbers are double the divorce rates of seniors in 1990, and experts predict the trend will continue to grow. Are seniors becoming unhappy later in life?

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