Posted on January 14, 2016 in Divorce

For most people, divorce brings about many lifestyle changes. Moving, sharing parenting time, and establishing financial independence are all part of the divorce process, and while the transition from married to single life can be difficult, every change is part of a larger process that will hopefully lead you to more personal freedom and happiness. One change that can be particularly challenging is searching for employment post-divorce. If you held a career during your marriage, financial independence will come much easier to you. Maybe, however, you are no longer happy with your current job, and as you transition out of a bad marriage you would like to pursue other career options. Or, if you are like millions of divorced Americans, you were the stay at home parent or did not work during your marriage, and now face the challenge of supporting yourself. Whatever your situation may be, searching for a job after divorce can be difficult. If you have been out of the workforce for a while, you may no longer know what employers are looking for and expecting from potential candidates. Maybe you have not interviewed for a position in 20 years. While landing a good job can seem like a daunting task, following these post divorce job hunting tips will set you well on your way to a new career.

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 Posted on January 12, 2016 in Family Law

January is always a busy month for divorce lawyers, and this year should be no different for Illinois attorneys. The beginning of each year is a popular time for divorce, and while attorneys, court officials, and other divorce experts in Illinois prepare for the surge, they also have another change to prepare for. For the first time in decades, the Illinois General Assembly passed a major revision of the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, bringing with it many new changes to how divorce is handled in the state. While many of the updates are minor, such as changes in wording, a few of changes are quite substantial, and will change how Illinois courts and those going through divorce handle the divorce process. If you are divorcing in 2016 in Illinois, here is what you need to know.

Terminology Changes

As society’s views and opinions on marriage and divorce change, it is only natural that state laws will change as well. Many of the edits to divorce law in Illinois will do little to actually change any processes, but rather update the law’s terminology to reflect modern society. For example, in light of the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling on same-sex marriage in the United States, Illinois divorce law now uses the term “spouse” versus “husband and wife.”

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 Posted on January 07, 2016 in Family Law

Co-parenting can be a challenge, especially if you are still dealing with unresolved feelings towards your ex. It is important to remember that, despite any unfortunate feelings you or your ex may be harboring, the priority as a co-parent is always your children. Divorce can be extremely difficult for everyone involved, but the transition is especially difficult on children, who may not fully understand the situation. They may blame themselves for the separation, have difficulty transitioning from one home to two, or face a number of other challenges due to their parent’s divorce. With 2016 just underway, resolve to make this year the best year for your children. Here are a few New Year’s resolutions both you and your co-parent can make to ensure your children feel loved, safe, and understand they are always your top priority.

Resolve to Empathize with Your Children

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 Posted on January 05, 2016 in Child Custody

Co-parenting is often much easier said than done. Even the most amicable of divorced couples armed with a well laid out parenting plan face changes, challenges, and frustrations. Children are unpredictable. As they grow up, their needs can change drastically. One year, a child may be interested in after-school piano lessons, only to develop an interest in horseback riding a year later. With the unpredictability of children comes the burden of sharing costs as co-parents. Where once you and your spouse likely shared finances, and worked together towards providing a great future for yourselves and your children, you are both now on your own, and probably in differing financial situations. Splitting the cost of raising children is often challenging, especially if you and your spouse disagree on how you each spend money on your children. How can co-parents ensure they are successfully splitting the costs of raising their children?

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 Posted on December 24, 2015 in Divorce

December is often a quiet month for divorce attorneys. Divorce trends show that divorces dip in December, only to quickly pick back up after New Year’s Day and peak in March. In fact, January sees such a large spike in divorces that divorce attorneys and other experts consider the first Monday of the New Year ‘Divorce Monday.’ Attorneys across the United States report experiencing the spike in divorce filings, and experts in foreign countries like the United Kingdom say they see the same thing. Why do people across the world choose to get divorced at the start of a new year?

Pressure During the Holidays

Marriage and divorce experts say one of the major reasons divorces lull in December and pick back up in January is that families are hesitant to separate during the holidays. This is especially true for married couples with children, who feel they have a responsibility to keep the holidays festive and happy for their children. Many parents justify waiting until after the holidays to give their children one last holiday as a family, though they may be setting themselves up for trouble. There are high expectations around the holidays, and couples who are already heading towards a divorce may find themselves fighting more than ever. The tension around the holidays is likely a reason divorces spike in January. Couples may choose to stick it out for the sake of their children, but are often quick to speak to their attorney about getting their divorce started as soon as the New Year arrives.

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 Posted on December 22, 2015 in Divorce

Bullying can come in a variety of forms. Bullies usually prey on targets they believe to be weaker than they are, using their bullying to get their way or to exert their power over others. Most people encounter bullying early in life, like on the school playground, and deal with bullying in some form throughout their lives. While it is never fun to be the victim of bullying, it can be especially difficult to deal with when going through a divorce. Adding bullying into the emotional turmoil of a major life change, like a divorce, can lead to serious mental and physical consequences for the victim. Here is what you need to know about divorce bullying, and how you can save yourself and your loved ones from being victims of it.

What Is Divorce Bullying?

In a marriage, if one partner consistently bullies the other, it would likely be classified as abuse. There are, however, many cases in which one typically friendly spouse becomes a bully during the divorce process. This is what experts call divorce bullying. As with most cases of bullying, divorce bullies likely become bullies because of their own insecurities or emotional problems. They likely are not able to process the divorce themselves, and rather than dealing with their own issues, decide to express their feelings through bullying their soon to be ex. Bullies use our fears and insecurities against us, making us feel powerless against them. This is especially dangerous in divorce cases. Who else knows as much about our fears, insecurities, and personal issues than our spouses. Of all people, spouses likely have the most ammunition to bully us with.

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 Posted on December 17, 2015 in Mediation and Collaborative Law

Mediation is a great method of conflict resolution. The process of mediation involves two disagreeing parties coming together, meeting with a neutral mediator, and working together to find an agreeable outcome for both parties. Mediation is a helpful strategy for any situation involving conflict, but it is especially useful for couples going through a divorce. The process provides flexibility for both parties and more control over the decision making process, and is typically faster and more cost effective compared to other, more aggressive proceedings. If you and your spouse are headed towards divorce, there are many reasons you should consider mediation.

Cost-Effective

Divorce puts a financial strain on many families. Between costly legal fees and time away from work spent battling in court, the costs of divorce can add up quickly. If you and your spouse can tolerate being in the same room as each other, and are prepared to work together to find an agreeable outcome for both of you, consider mediation. Typically, both you and your spouse will only pay one mediator who will work with you together. You will just pay for the time spent meeting with the mediator, which is often relatively cost-effective when split between two people.

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 Posted on December 15, 2015 in Division of Assets

Divorces can become ugly, and all too often spouses attempt to hide assets from each other. People going through a divorce should be cautious, and ensure they have a clear picture of their shared finances, so they know what they are entitled to from their divorce settlement. Some divorcing individuals will go to great lengths to hide money or other assets from their spouse. They open new bank accounts, hide money with friends, go on spending sprees, or avoid disclosing retirement and other investment accounts, to name just a few possibilities. Now, experts are worried about another potential way spouses could hide money from each other. Bitcoin, a new high-tech form of digital currency, is difficult to track and regulate, making it an attractive option for those wishing to hide money from their spouse.

Bitcoin, created in 2008, is a digital currency accessible from anywhere in the world. It is not restricted by any government, does not rely on any bank, and gives it’s users the option to remain anonymous. Since it’s creation, the currency has grown tremendously. One 2013 report showed the total number of Bitcoins around the world to be valued at over 10 billion US dollars. In 2015, the currency is still growing, and more vendors around the world are starting to accept it. Governments across the globe are struggling with regulating Bitcoin. Since it allows users to store money and purchase goods anonymously from anywhere in the world, states and countries are unable to tax or control the currency.

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 Posted on December 10, 2015 in Divorce

People get divorced for a variety of reasons. Often, an extramarital affair or breach of trust is at the center of a divorce, but there are many other ways couples can strain their relationship. While cheating and lying are two surefire ways to hurt your marriage, and potentially lead you to divorce, there are many other ways you may be doing damage, sometimes even unknowingly. Below are a few mistakes that are often catalysts for divorce, and tips on how you can avoid making them.

1. You Confide in Other People

Having relationships outside your marriage is necessary and healthy. Trouble starts, however, if you start emotionally confiding in people besides your spouse. Your spouse should be the person you turn to for almost anything, so opening up to outsiders will likely leave your spouse feeling betrayed.

Be sure that despite the friends and other family members you are close with, your spouse feels like you open up to him or her the most. Maintaining friendships is important, but the moment you and a friend share a connection greater than one you share with your spouse, something is wrong. If your spouse notices, they will feel like they are not the most important person in your life anymore. Be especially cautious of confiding in someone you are attracted to. Not only will this make your spouse even more nervous, but if you are attracted to your confidante, you are on a slippery slope that could easily become an affair.

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 Posted on December 08, 2015 in Divorce

As any marriage counselor would tell you, trust between spouses is a major sign of a healthy relationship. Successful marriages depend on both partners being transparent with each other. Breaches of trust usually happen when one spouse lies to or cheats on the other spouse. Did you know, however, that financial infidelity could spell trouble for your marriage as well? Millions of married Americans report engaging in financial infidelity, a dangerous game to play when a majority of marriage experts say money is the number one issue couples fight about. Are you keeping financial secrets from your spouse? If so, you are not alone, according to a recent survey.

Understanding Financial Infidelity

Financial infidelity is a serious problem for married couples, and while keeping secrets about money may not seem as devastating as an actual affair with an outside person, lying about money can destroy the trust between you and your spouse, and can eventually lead to divorce. Financial infidelity can come in a variety of forms, not all of them nefarious. Things like hidden bank accounts, serious secret debts, and gambling addictions all make the list, but even things like making small purchases without your spouse’s knowledge could be considered financial infidelity. Many married people may be committing financial infidelity without even realizing it.

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