Posted on June 07, 2016 in Divorce

If you are in the middle of divorce, you may feel nervous, uncertain, or scared about the future. While divorce does have its negative aspects, it can also truly change your life for the better. It is easy to get wrapped up in the sadness, pain, and grief caused by your divorce, and while you may feel significant pain during and after your separation, the future can and will get better. Slowly you will start to feel more empowered, more independent, and better able to tackle whatever life brings. If you are struggling to get past the negativity of divorce, remind yourself of these five positives of life post divorce.

Financial Freedom

Many couples cite finances as a major marital strain. If you and your spouse had different ideas about your shared finances, your post-divorce life is the perfect opportunity to rebuild your finances and manage money however you choose. Many people, frequently women, do not have the opportunity to make financial decisions during their marriage. Financial independence for someone with little knowledge of managing money can seem daunting, but account managers and other financial specialists are always available to help.

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 Posted on May 26, 2016 in Divorce

Any successful marriage takes work. Both partners need excellent communication, trust, love, commitment, and a willingness to work together, among many other factors. Without work from both spouses, even a great marriage can quickly unravel. Could your career be impacting your marriage, or leading you towards divorce? According to a recently released British study which examined the correlation between occupations and divorce rates, there are in fact some careers that are more likely to lead to divorce than others.

Could Your Job End Your Marriage?

The study found that many different fields of occupation up the chances a couple’s marriage will end in divorce. Of course, every marriage is different, and many who work in one of the higher risk of divorce jobs maintain successful marriages, but there do seem to be some reasons why certain jobs up your chances of divorce. Some of the higher risk jobs include:

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 Posted on May 24, 2016 in Divorce

Drug or alcohol addiction is difficult in every circumstance, but for those married to an addict, the challenge can be even greater. Being married to an addict, no matter how much love is present, can be nearly impossible, especially if the addict is unwilling to admit their problem or seek help. Unfortunately, for many, divorce is the only option. Divorcing an addict can be challenging, but you are not alone. Millions of Americans are married to addicts, stuck feeling helplessly trapped by their spouse’s addiction. If therapy, counseling, and other solutions have done nothing to improve your situation, divorcing your spouse may be your next step. Here is what you need to know about divorcing an addict.

How Addiction Can Destroy a Marriage

Addiction is a serious illness for the addict and for any friends and family members trying to support them. Addiction in a marriage can quickly cause problems. Addicts often adopt anti-social tendencies, abdicate responsibilities, and engage in self-destructive behaviors. If children are involved, a spouse struggling with addiction can easily become unable or unfit to parent, especially if they consume alcohol or their drug of choice around the children. Additionally, addicts often steal, and an addict spouse could easily use vital family money to fund their addiction.

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 Posted on May 19, 2016 in Child Custody

Many parents fear the impact their divorce may have on their children. Will separating scar them? Will the transition from one home to two be too difficult? Will they ever know what a healthy relationship is like? In reality, with the divorce rate in America being as high as it is, children survive divorce all the time. The initial separation and transition period afterwards may be difficult, but children are resilient. Some parents however, hoping to prioritize their children and spare them some divorce pain, have opted for a co-parenting arrangement that is gaining popularity across the country. Birdnesting, or “bird’s nest” co-parenting, allows the children to remain in their family home, while the parents rotate in and out according to a set schedule.

How Does Birdnesting Work?

In a typical divorce involving children, the parents separate, one or both move, and the children split their time between both parents at separate households. With birdnesting, the children get to remain in the family’s home, and the parents, who are more easily able to deal with change, rotate in and out. While one parent resides in the family home and parents the children, the other lives in a separate dwelling of some kind. The parents then take turns moving in and out of the home in accordance with their co-parenting schedule.

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 Posted on May 17, 2016 in Divorce

Divorce is no walk in the park. In fact, divorce is often considered the second most stressful event a person can experience in life, after the death of a spouse. Maintaining any sense of normalcy while going through a divorce can be challenging. For those with jobs, just surviving the work day can be difficult. How can you be expected to be a productive professional when even getting out of bed seems impossible? First, know you are not alone. Most people struggle with work while going through the divorce process. With the incoming calls, emails from attorneys, divorce preparation, and the wide range of emotions to process, how is one expected to focus on work? If you are struggling to remain productive at work while going through a divorce, follow these tips that can help you stay distraction free and focused.

Talk to the Right People

If you are trying not to think about your divorce during work hours, your best course of action is to limit who knows about the situation. Certainly your closest coworkers, if they are personal friends, can be informed, but the last thing you need is constant questions and reminders from coworkers about your personal life. Ask the few coworkers you do tell to keep the news to themselves. You do not need everyone in your office checking in on you and asking about your divorce.

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 Posted on May 12, 2016 in Divorce

Each year, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) releases data collected from Americans across the country covering their feelings and opinions on a variety of family issues. These include same sex marriage, cohabitation prior to marriage, and divorce. For many, the most recently released data included a surprise. American opinions on non-marital relationships, sex before marriage, same-sex adoption, and children born out of wedlock have grown increasingly liberal. This is hardly surprising. When asked about divorce however, a majority of Americans responded that they believe it is not an acceptable solution to marital problems. Why have Americans become significantly more liberal towards alternative family arrangements, yet more conservative towards divorce? The answer is, contrary to popular opinion, that marriage in America is not dying. The meaning of marriage has simply changed.

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 Posted on May 10, 2016 in Divorce

One of the biggest concerns couples face when deciding to divorce or not is their children. No loving parent wants to break up their family, and most parents considering divorce worry about the potential negative impacts divorce can have on their children. Will divorce ruin my children’s lives? Will they ever know what love is? Will they be okay splitting time between two homes? In response to these fears, parents in unhappy marriages often choose to stay together for the sake of their children. The reality, however, is that an unhappy home is more damaging for your children than the brief pain of divorce followed by happiness. Divorce, in many cases, is the best choice for your children.

Modeling an Unhappy Relationship

While breaking the news of divorce to children is never easy, and many families struggle through the divorce process and lifestyle change afterwards, choosing to stay together for your children’s sake can be vastly more damaging. If you and your spouse stay married, but fill your home with conflict, that is the picture of marriage you are imprinting on your children. As children grow up, they learn how to model their own relationships based on the relationships they see around them. Children learn what love means by how they are treated, and how they see others in love treat each other. Do you want to model a healthy, loving relationship to your children, or one filled with negativity and conflict? Staying together may keep your family together, but if your marriage is unhealthy, you are teaching your children to accept the same in their lives.

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 Posted on May 05, 2016 in Divorce

Divorce is a life-altering decision, and one that should not be taken lightly. Everyone deserves happiness, but at what point is your relationship past saving, and your best action to separate and move on? While no one, aside from yourself, can determine if your marriage is over, there are a few items to consider when deciding whether or not to end your relationship. One prominent US doctor, health counselor, and life coach recently shared a few important reasons your marriage may be salvageable, and a few others that indicate divorce is likely your best option.

Reasons to Work on Your Relationship

Health Concerns: Any life changing event can have health implications, and divorce is no different. The stress and emotional whirlwind you will likely face during your divorce could be damaging to your health, especially if you are battling an illness. If you, your spouse, or any family member is facing a life-threatening illness, consider waiting and working on your relationship. If divorce is inevitable, consider choosing a time when everyone is in good health.

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 Posted on May 03, 2016 in Domestic Violence

When most of us think of domestic abuse, we think of one spouse physically or emotionally hurting the other. While physical harm and emotional abuse are two common aspects of domestic violence, there is another aspect that many victims report experiencing; economic abuse. Imagine being unable to help yourself because somebody has control of your finances, or has cut you off completely from financial resources. For many such victims, this is the case. In fact, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV), 94 to 99 percent of domestic violence victims report experiencing some form of economic abuse. Fortunately, help is available.

What Is Economic Abuse?

Economic abuse occurs when an abuser attempts to gain power or control over an individual by limiting access to assets or preventing future earning. The abuser's goal is to limit the victim’s choices by making them dependent on the abuser. This often goes hand-in-hand with physical domestic abuse. The victim is unable to leave, out of fear of harm and lack of financial resources. Economic abuse can take many different forms.

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 Posted on April 28, 2016 in Mediation and Collaborative Law

With the bevy of emotions most people face during divorce, finances can easily get neglected. As your relationship is ending, money may be your last priority, but it is important that you keep tabs on your finances to avoid future difficulties. If you decide to divorce, you and your spouse have a few options from which to choose. When most people picture divorce, they think of two aggressive attorneys representing wounded spouses hoping to hurt each other in a long, drawn-out battle. While a litigated divorce may be necessary in some cases, it certainly is not the only option. Litigated divorces are often expensive and emotionally draining. Rather than fighting each other, preserve your wealth through two less aggressive options; mediation and collaborative divorce.

Mediation

Did you know that you and your spouse can choose to work with a neutral, third party divorce mediator who can help you reach the same settlement a litigated divorce would achieve? In mediation, the mediator will work with both parties to discuss any divorce related issues needing attention, and help both parties reach agreeable outcomes. If you and your spouse are capable of working together, mediation can be a faster, more efficient, and significantly less costly method of divorce. Couples can discuss every important divorce matter including:

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