The Debate over Divorce Parties

 Posted on June 18, 2018 in Divorce

For centuries, the mere idea of divorce was viewed largely as taboo in most cultures. At the very least, there was a social stigma that was long associated with a couple choosing to end their marriage. A couple who could not save their marriage were often portrayed as failures or, in certain circles, even immoral. While such attitudes may still exist in some communities, most Western societies have accepted the concept of divorce as a part of life.

One good indicator of this trend is the growing popularity of so-called “divorce parties.” A divorce party is exactly what the name implies—a social event that is put on to celebrate the end of a particular couple’s marriage. Event planners and MCs throughout the United States have started promoting their services as available for divorce parties, which are purported to help the newly-divorced get a fresh start on their new life.

Who Hosts Divorce Parties?

It is understandable that a spouse who has been trapped in an unhealthy marriage may be inclined to celebrate a little—ostensibly out of relief—following his or her divorce. However, there are also couples who wish to throw a combined divorce party. Several years ago, the New York Times ran a story about a wealthy couple who invited 100 guests to mark the occasion of their impending divorce and to thank their friends and loved ones for their support over the years.

In many cases, the friends of a recently-divorced person will throw a divorce party on the person’s behalf, recognizing him or her as an independent individual about to begin a new chapter of life. It turns out, that divorce parties are as varied and unique as the weddings that preceded them.

Guest Considerations

Of course, not everyone is completely on board with a party that celebrates a divorce, and nobody should feel obligated to attend a divorce party. This is especially true when attending the party might make an individual feel like he or she must “choose sides” in the divorce. If you are throwing a divorce party together with your ex-spouse, your options for the guest lists will be greater, as your party could include both of your families and your mutual friends.

On the other hand, if you are throwing your own party or helping plan a party for a newly divorced friend, you should only invite people who will help promote fun and healing. You may also wish to keep the party on the smaller side, as entertaining and impressing a large crowd may prove unnecessarily difficult soon after a divorce.

Staying Positive

If you hope to gain anything out of a divorce party, it is important to keep the mood positive and relaxing. Venting about exes or “roasts” can turn nasty and uncomfortable very quickly. Similarly, do not encourage or even allow excessive alcohol or drug use. The unpredictable nature of drunk or high behavior could be emotionally disastrous. Finally, do not use a divorce party as a “matchmaking” opportunity for the divorcee. The focus should be on healing, not on finding a new love.

Before you begin planning a divorce party, you should be sure that your divorce is completely finalized. An experienced DuPage County family law attorney can help you do so, regardless of whether a party will follow. Call 630-352-2240 for a free consultation at Pesce Law Group, P.C. today.

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/splitopia/201706/should-you-throw-divorce-party

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2011/05/15/fashion/celebrating-a-divorce-with-a-party-noticed.html