How to Handle Loneliness as a Gray Divorcee

 Posted on June 16, 2016 in Divorce

A recent survey asked divorcees over 50 years old two simple questions. What is the best aspect of being divorced over 50, and what is the worst aspect? Most respondents said the best aspect of their gray divorce was the freedom it provided them. On the other hand, a majority of responders said loneliness, or the fear of loneliness, was the biggest negative factor. Loneliness is a big factor in anyone’s decision to divorce. Most people do not plan on ending their marriage, but for those over 50, moving on post-divorce can be especially difficult. Based on the survey’s results, it is reasonable to assume that some older individuals are choosing to stay in unhappy marriages out of the fear of being lonely. This, however, is often a mistake. Instead, here are three steps to guide you through handling and eventually defeating loneliness as a gray divorcee.

Survive

No matter how old you are, or where you are in your life, you deserve happiness. Fear of being lonely is a legitimate concern, and frankly, most people are lonely after their divorce. Does this mean you should waste a decade or two of your life in an unhappy relationship? No. Instead, should you decide to divorce, plan ahead for the loneliness you will likely experience. Divorce has many challenges, including legal battles, handling financial issues, and dealing with any children involved. Consider loneliness just another one of those negatives. Planning for feeling alone can help soften the impact. In fact, you probably have already felt some form of loneliness or disconnect from your spouse, considering you are thinking of divorce. Tell yourself that you may even enjoy some solitude. Take that time to reflect back, and learn more about yourself. You will survive.

Revive

Once the dust from your divorce has settled, it is time to start overcoming your loneliness. This takes some effort, and it may require you moving out of your comfort zone, especially if it has been a while since you have attempted to be social. You can combat loneliness in a number of ways. Take an adult class, learn something new, join a club, or volunteer at a school, library, or hospital. If you are pet-friendly, consider a new cat or dog for companionship. Specialists also recommend that divorcees over 50 consider joining a gym, as working out can be a great way to process emotions, and exercise can improve your social life and health.

Remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with doing things alone either. Treat yourself to a nice meal or a movie. Be active, even by yourself. You certainly will not meet people while sitting at home, but by staying active, you increase your chances of making new friends.

Thrive

While tackling loneliness can be difficult at first, soon you will find yourself thriving. This is when freedome really starts to take affect. You will find yourself in control of your loneliness, and ready to take on anything. Perhaps dating is the next chapter for you? This can be tough, especially for older individuals who have not dated in a while, but consider joining groups and clubs, or online dating. Embrace new opportunities with confidence. Soon, you will notice that you are focusing less and less on your divorce, and more about the freedom of the future.

Our Attorneys Can Help

When a couple decides to get married, both spouses typically assume they will be spending the rest of their days with each other. Unfortunately, this is not always the case, and marriages do end. Do not let the fear of loneliness prevent you from finding happiness. The experienced Naperville divorce attorneys at Pesce Law Group, P.C., are here to help. We offer a variety of divorce solutions, including litigation and non-litigation options, depending on your specific needs. Call 630-352-2240 to schedule a free consultation with us today to learn more about how we can help you through your divorce.

Source:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/barry-gold/gray-divorce_b_10067072.html